"An essential part of seeing clearly is finding the willingness to look closely and to go beyond our own ideas."-Cheri Huber


Thursday, November 8, 2012

"We do not see what we do not know"-How Mental Health Professionals dismiss the Gifted




"Do you specialize or see Gifted Adults as clients?
Um, no!What problems do THEY have that are different from anyone else?!?"
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This is sadly, an example of a stereotypical conversation that I have come across regarding Gifted-ness when talking to mental health professionals of varying expertise. While the response is not always as blatant, it is along a similar spectrum;From a simple and acceptable "no" to vague conversations about intellectual assessment and testing to the more dramatic spirit of "Gifted-ness does not exist", to mention of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

As a mental health professional myself, I am openly astounded at  mental health professionals who dismiss or deny the  legitimacy of Gifted children and adults. My search for a different word for "Gifted" continues as it does lead to a projection of elitism and "better than" ideas that seem to trigger not only those who are at this end of the spectrum but those that hear the word "Gifted". I often wonder about the social receptivity of this genre if the term Gifted was replaced by "Differently Abled".

I have come across very few mental health professionals who don't squirm or worse, question the validity of the "differently abled" population when they hear of it. There seems to be an intrinsic need to deny that it exists or what is shared is a shrugging of the shoulders with the premise "They have problems different than everyone else?!" (like the conversation above). The primary amazement that I experience when I hear this is if Developmental Delays and lower IQs exist and are acknowledged, then why is there so much resistance to acknowledging the other end of this continuum?No, it is not the same...but it does exists.Why do we metaphorically plug our ears when we hear others talk about this?




       Recently, I engaged in a social review of sorts where I mentioned Gifted-ness to various mental health professionals I know, in direct and indirect ways. It has been astounding to witness their  reactions. I have noticed facial expressions change when the word "Gifted" is casually dropped, to complete silence when I mention or ask if they know of therapists who specialize in providing counseling for Gifted Children, Adults and their families. The ones who could give me an answer or even faintly recall someone they once met who did specialize in this, were the undeniable minority.When the majority is trying to dismiss, wears their lack of awareness as a badge("We are all the same"), boldly state "Everyone is gifted" (when what they really mean is "Every one has a gift"...the two are very different).or shrug their shoulders, talking about Over Excitabilities, Super Sensitivities or any other details of behavioral and emotional "symptoms" of Gifted-ness seemed futile.(Poor Kazimierz Dabrowski must be weeping in his grave!)

Once my personal disbelief and disappointment at this discovery simmered down, I questioned the epistemology of this denial and complacent lack of awareness. Why is it that of ALL people, those that have made analysis and assistance of human nature their livelihood, are the one's that are so comfortable with the limited or absence of awareness about this population?

Personal projections.

           I have tentatively concluded that working specifically with the Gifted populations requires, at the very least, acknowledgment that a Gifted Population exists. Following that is gaining knowledge about it which is in turn,undeniably necessary to engage in being aware, insightful and attentive to it's nuances. I am reminded of the  adage in medical fields that states "We cannot see what we do not know".  But how effective is any of this when one stays behind a personal wall of projection about the label of someone being Gifted?It is no wonder then, that the number of therapists catering to this rare population is so low. There is such a thick fog of personal and societal projection about the Gifted that therapists seem more comfortable pretending it does not exist than find ways to walk through the fog!

       The label of "Gifted" has indeed been overused and grossly misused in certain societies that has contributed to a collective projection. That, in addition to a lot of parents who believe their children are gifted mainly and only because of their grades only makes the reality of Giftedness unfortunately cloudy. This mis-representation along with ego-driven behavior of a lot of parents seems to fuel the disdain around this term. Gifted becomes synonymous with the annoying mother you meet when you drop your child off at school who gloats about teh GATE program!But what is even more unfortunate is that a lot of mental health professionals do not exercise the foundational fuel of therapy: curiosity. Hijacked by their own projections that come from limited information, casual observation of inflated ego's of parents of Gifted children or their own reservations of what being "Gifted" means, mental health professionals tend to look the other way.

     I wonder, as a mental health professional myself, if these projections could be penetrated with reason? If we as professionals could engage in the very work we guide our clients/patients to do? Can we set aside whatever it is we "think" we know about Gifted-ness and approach it with sincere curiosity and self awareness of what comes up for us as we explore?

The sad, sad truth is that whether we as clinicians accept the reality of Gifted struggles or not, there is a significant group of people out there who need us to "get it". They are the parents of Gifted children who quickly realized that "good grades"(if that were included) was NOT what parenting a Gifted Child entails. They are Gifted adolescents who have already spent a significant period of their life struggling to fit in, or be seen as more than "High Achievement", its the middle school kids who may do well academically and glean praise but spend every lunch hour by themselves...lost, confused and mainly very, very alone. The kid that wants to know if "We are living in a world perceived by us but not in reality" but cannot manage to play a simple game with another kid. These kids grow up to be adults struggling with Imposter Syndrome, social misunderstanding and ridicule, tragic and confusing Under Achievement...and they internally remain the kid that sits alone for lunch hour. They struggle very deeply and uniquely in relationships, lose jobs or struggle to find one, are torn between their abilities and limitations and spend their life trying to piece together a fragmented self image that honors their uniqueness but still craving to the "same as others". They can be oddly rebellious and serious procrastinators, you will hear them talk about "not being able to turn their brain off"...the list is endless. Whether we acknowledge any of this or not, it exists.




There is so much emphasis on Gifted-ness being Achievement based that a poignant premise gets missed: Developmental differences and advancement. Mental health professionals are more likely to specialize and assist those who battle developmental differences at the other end of the same spectrum than the one being spoken of here. While one elicits reactions of sympathy and concern(rightfully so!) the Gifted get ignored. I once read that "Even sunshine burns if we get too much". The seemingly sunny side of the Gifted is somewhat like that. The Gifted are "too much" of everything. While details are going to be food for future posts, my hope with this one is that mental health professionals begin to wake up, just a little bit more, to the possibility that their personal projections are dismissing the struggles of a lot of people...which is drastically dichotomous to what our field was created to do. We are agents of change, healers and helpers...we cannot do that if we deny someone's struggles whether it is through absence of information or personal triggers.

Let's start by looking inward ourselves:
1. What came up for you as your read this article?
2. Did you hear a voice of resistance? What did it say?
3. How much do you really know about counseling the Gifted?
4. Do you have a voice that is compelling you to deny Gifted-ness because you feel resistant to the idea that differences in people DO exist?
5.What are your projections about intelligence?

Not every one of us will engage in Therapy for the Gifted. But my hope is that most of us contribute positively to remove the stigma, mysteries and myths that surround this very real population.







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