12 Months Of Life Lessons: August

LESSONS I LEARNED THIS AUGUST:


1)SCREEN YOUR STORY: When you experience displeasure, discontent, angry confusion or feel the need to ask someone to change themselves, start by screening your story. Our experiences are projections. More often than not, our interpretation/story of what is going on holds us hostage and we react or make demands for change stemming from these stories, as opposed to "truth". Before acting on the need to ask someone to change, screen your story with questions like, "I experienced what you said as insensitive/ mean/hurtful/suspicious. Is that what you meant?". Screening your story allows the other the necessary opportunity to explain and express, and allows you to modify your story in a way that matches what "is" as opposed to what you "think it is". It is also the quickest way to maintain kindness while honoring the feelings of displeasure you feel.


 

2)DON'T GET WET IN SOMEONE ELSE"S STORM: People lash out, share loud angry opinions, judge, criticize,misinterpret all the time. If you are coming from a place of integrity, remember that they are likely soaking in their own storm and their opinion is not the same as your reality. Stay dry by validating their experience(you don't have to agree to validate!)and clarifying your position. Jumping in with defensiveness, counter-attacking, aggressively proving them wrong, or insulting them is a sign that you are now getting wet too. State your position, and allow them their need to sway in their storm in the direction they choose. Their storm is not your project, playground, battle field or your reality. It is only where they are right now.

Screen your story. Stay Dry. 
-Nam

*This post is part of a personal project to pay attention to life lessons as they arise each month,document them and share them. September is feeling pretty rich already! Stay tuned!).