Pauses

I often wonder how much of our lives are spent waiting. Waiting for soul mates, for an interview call, waiting for a new day or waiting for a day to end. Waiting in line at a restaurant, at the DMV, for a new baby or a business to grow or to feel better than we are right now. Especially at present with the current capricious state of the economy  a lot of people are caught between the ebb and flow of unemployment.

     Professionally, I often see Depression and Anxiety walking into the office with my client on leash as she/he struggles to move forward from a pause. Personally, I see it frequently as well!Dealing with times when we are not where we want to be is challenging and can trigger so many of our insecurities and worries whether  we are facing an emotional,personal or professional pause.

      What do we do when we are "waiting" for something to change?How do we cope with pauses?Does the chirpy  voice of optimism keep you motivated, or does the foreboding hiss of doom crush your spirits?We all have a Voice that shapes how we cope with these pauses. It tells us stories that either keep us going or make the time of "waiting" particularly challenging. Sometimes it can even powerfully bulldoze our sense of strength and patience by saying unkind things like "You should have planned better"," Why are you always failing?", "You are never gonna get a job!!!" or "What is the point of trying?It's never gonna happen".


I encourage you, dear reader, to take a moment and reflect on a time when you have been waiting for something. Maybe you are in that space right now. How are you making sense of this time?What are you saying to you about yourself as you wait?Is there a Voice saying discouraging things to you?

I end with one of my favorite stories of the Bamboo and the Fern with a hopeful message for all those times when we find ourselves experiencing a pause...

"One day I decided to quit…I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to reflect and have one last talk with Mother Nature.

“Mother Nature”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

Her answer surprised me.

“Look around”, she said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four."

“Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth."

"Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall."

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?".

“Don’t compare yourself to others,” she said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."